While Liberty and Presley were both preemies, which a lot of their NICU days are alike, they have also been quite different too. Presley has been more on a fast track than Libby was & she is also WAY more demanding/ diva like than Libby as well. Liberty was very chill, and Presley is chill until you upset her and then she gets all cranky. So every 3hrs when it's hands on time/ feeding time be ready!! However, one of her nurses can be upsetting her & as soon as I put my hand on her head, or touch her tiny finger, she settles down almost instantly. That makes me smile because it tells me that she knows I'm her Mama.
Presley gained 40 grams today!!! She now weighs 1480 grams!! She did pretty good at her breastfeeding today, 13 mins at the 2pm feed and 12 mins at the 8pm feed. She's awesome! Her Daddy is going to try at 2am feed to bottle feed her for the first time, so I hope she does well. She started to Brady again during both feeds today, it only happened once each, so that makes me nervous. Oh and she is off the billi lights today, but has been getting cold, so no kangaroo care for the past few days... It's also setting back further how long till she will wear clothes and go to an open isolette.
I've talked about how stressful life is right now, so I just want to say how happy I am too. I feel so so incredibly blessed that I don't think words could touch the surface of how blessed I feel. Life isn't incredibly ideal right now, but even in all the craziness, my cup is overflowing! Looking back to a few years ago when doctors were telling us we might never have children & fertility treatments were failing me... it blows me away how life has changed so much & how with faith and hope, anything is possible. It just goes to show that doctors don't know it all & "the impossible" is possible! I love my two precious little girls more than anything & God has been so good to me. It's hard to not wonder why we have had a harder path than most but I'm just grateful to have been given the chance to be a mother to not one, but TWO babies!
This last Christmas I spent the night in the ER bleeding & cramping like crazy thinking that we had lost Presley for sure & the dr telling me that I was miscarrying because she couldn't even find her on the ultrasound. While I waited four hours for the oncall radiologist to come in to do an ultrasound to make sure, I sobbed and sobbed. I remember being devastated & praying that somehow there would be a miracle. I pleaded & pleaded & said that even if our baby had to be sick or something else wrong, that I would be able to handle whatever, just to please let our baby live. The radiologist looked around for about 10 mins and then he found her. Presley kept me busy guessing and worrying 2 more times with bleeding scares in the first trimester. That with the horrible hyperemesis & then all the high risk pregnancy hoopla of testing & appts, I decided that two was a PERFECT number. Sure I always wanted a houseful of kids, but my body just can't do that I guess.
So as much as I want to complain and do the whole why me thing (and I'm guilty of it from time to time) I still feel lucky. To some I definitely do not seem lucky with all the crazy shenanigans we've gone through to get our beautiful girls, but I AM lucky because we did GET them :) They are both tangible REAL miracles we can hold in our hands. I've really learned and seen what faith and prayer can do, and all I can say is that God truly is amazing. I appreciate every second I get with both my girls, because I know how precious those seconds are. I have so much to be thankful for that I could go on forever, but to sum it all up, I am thankful to God, for he has given me so very much.
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