Update :)

I have been so horrible at keeping up this blog, and I apologize to my avid readers for the lack thereof. With my girls & running a business & starting another, well life is CrAzY! Libby is RUNNING everywhere (oh how much I just LOVE that sentence), and into everything, so I only have time to do things during naptimes or bedtime. Then by the time we get the girls bathed & in bed, I try to spend time with Aaron before I begin editing. I also clean at night, because during the day Libby just undoes everything. It's impossible to do laundry or clean when she is behind me messing it all up two times worse than before. She sure is a lot of fun! Presley is in that stage where if we leave her sight, even for a split second, she looses it. She's definitely a mama's girl, which we all know I don't mind :)

Presley Update: She still has pretty bad reflux but I'd like to think it's getting better, but I'm afraid to say it's not. She sure does keep it interesting with her mad vomiting skills. I will be SO happy to not be changing my shirts/jeans a couple times a day because of that darn reflux. That, & the amount of outfit changes she has a day, it's a good thing she has a LOT of cute clothes, because wow, she pukes a lot. It's funny to hear Libby say "oh Pweswe" after she pukes and goes and gets the wipes. They are the best friends. They have their own little language, and whatever Libby says to Presley, well Presley thinks is hilarious & just laughs and laughs. Presley pretty much thinks Libby is amazing. I love seeing their bond that they have, and watching them together melts my heart. I LOVE all the kisses Libby just so freely gives her through out the day. Unprompted & just so precious. She is so loved, and sister knows it too! She says Mama & Dada, and it's the most beautiful sound. Presley is finally eating baby food!!! DRUMROLL... she eats WHOLE jars of food in one sitting! Libby never did this but 6 or so times, so Presley is amazing. So nice to have a kid that eats! She is eating puree's 3 times a day, and it's amazing to see how fast she can eat it too. I almost at times can't spoon it in fast enough. It's wonderful. She's even had a few times where she's eaten DOUBLE! This just keeps blowing our minds, because Libby was never like this. It's fun to see how different Libby & Presley are, but how much they are the same too. Presley isn't sitting up by herself yet, she can do about 15-20 seconds before she topples over. Progress though, and every week I see her getting better. Progress is all I ask for. I know she will get there on her own time. As easy as that is to say, the truth is, it's sometimes really hard for me. I want her to thrive & my heart aches when I see babies that were born 6 months after her doing things she can't yet do, and it just hurts. People don't understand, and make hurtful comments, and it takes all I have to not say something rude back. A couple of weeks ago someone asked me at the park if Presley was "stupid" because she wasn't sitting,crawling,pulling up to stand, or gasp.. walking yet. I was blown away. Delayed yes, but stupid? Oh HELL no. I kindly stated that she was born at 29 wks, and that being born premature it's very common to have developmental delays. I then kindly pointed out that her kid was eating rocks & she ran off to her kid.. and we left the park. On the way home from the park, I heard my girls laughing, and it was a great lesson for me. Because in my head I was FURIOUS at the "stupid" comment & I was thinking of all the things I wish I could have said, but then heard their little giggles & was reminded to just let it go. I'm getting better at this, but it still isn't easy by any means. I have loads of things I could complain about thanks to prematurity, but instead I've been trying to let those things remind me of what I have to be grateful for & I usually stop mid thought. My cup sure is overflowing.

Libby Update: She's running everywhere & into everything. Doing lots of toddler things, and I just LOVE this stage she is at. It's got to be my favorite. I think I love it so much because she has this HUGE personality, and I can't wait for her to wake up every morning to say something new, and to play with her. She's always been a mommy's girl, but she has been extra clingy with these 4 eye teeth cutting. It's not been too fun with both girls teething at the same time (lots of coffee for Aaron & I) but I do love how cuddley she has become. She is constantly all day long taking breaks from whatever she's doing to come give me hugs & kisses. That giggle that she has is so contagious & lights up my world. She is so sweet, and seeing her with her sister & how much she loves her, it melts my heart. Every morning she runs to Presley's room, and as she is running she says shhh Pweswe sweeping. Then as soon as she opens the door, she bounds in shouting HI Pweswe & laughing hysterically! I couldn't imagine my mornings being anything other than what they are now, & I wouldn't ever want it to change. It's crazy with two babies, but I love every second. Libby has me going from morning to night, and she doesn't really nap anymore during the day but like one short nap, so by the end of the day I'm exhausted between taking care of her & Presley. I am LOVING it though. We have so much fun together the three of us, and I love seeing Libby get SO excited when Daddy comes home. Libby's Vocab: Mommy, Mom, Daddy, Dad, Pweswe (Presley), She also calls her Pwes Pwes, Cwacker (cracker), Peaches, Apple, Bread, Siwey (silly), Elmo, Thanks, Thank You, Pwease (please) Cheese, Milk, MiMi (minnie mouse), Nana (my mom), Walk, pwetty (pretty) and she says "Oh soo pwetty" to a lot of things lol, it is so cute. There is quite a bit more, but these are what I can think of off the top of my head. She has started to count & can count to 3 & after that gets lost :) It's too cute. She has started to say her ABC's too. She says A B C D Eeeeeeee! I love that the E is so pronounced to an EEEEEEEEEEE :) Oh I love this age. She says Moo, barks like a little dog, bah's like a goat, and my favorite, Mowwwww (her kitty sound) I love it. I love that she can tell me what she wants too, or at least point to it or get it.

Her newest silly- she said Shits! at the park the other day, meaning to say sticks. I about died laughing, and she was so proud of herself because she had three sticks in hand that she had found, and was looking for more. She cracks us up. We recently switched her crib to the toddler rail setting. She has done FANTASTIC with it & loves it. Her favorite part is opening the door in the morning and saying Mommmmmmmmy Hi! We were given the advice to put a babygate in front of her door, and that was genius. The first few days she hadn't figured out that she could open the door and leave, even though she knew how to open doors & we took down the babygate. But then given a few days, she started to explore and downstairs she came one evening and said Oh Hi! So we babygate her door every night/nap & she does great! A night or two I've peeked in and seen her laying sprawled out in the middle of her room on the floor, but most times she stays in her bed. I cannot believe that she will be TWO next month! WHY and HOW does the time go by so so fast! Aaron made a comment saying that soon she'd be going off to college & I was already crying when we switched her to a toddler bed. I just am NOT ready for her to be two and Presley to turn one. I want them to stay little. I love who they are growing into being though & am so excited about the fun to be had, so it's bittersweet.


Update on Aaron & I: Aaron is doing great at work. He just hit his 5 yr mark in the Air Force & we are just waiting for the call to come down on what his new job will be. He submitted his crosstraining paperwork, had to get tons of appointments & paperwork and applications done, but it's DONE! Now we wait! He had a phone interview and things are looking promising! He is so antsy & is checking his email constantly. He is also going on a TDY soon, so it's been pretty busy for him. I'm ready to leave AZ & get to our new base/ his new job. I like it here don't get me wrong, but I HATE scorpions. I have so much stress daily about it, I loose sleep over them, and the anxiety of the girls playing on the floor and the possibility of getting stung since it's happened before with Libby, well I'm ready to leave! Since moving from Oki to Guam to AZ so quickly, it's been really hard for me to want to get out there and make new friends. I know we will be leaving again soon, so I almost wonder what's the point!?! ya know? I'm just so thankful my bff Christine lives here in AZ, IDK what I would do without her, and will cry when we have to move apart again. Other than that though, I haven't put too much effort into finding new friends. That & it's hard to know lately who wants to be my friend & who is looking for free photos. It's bs how many free photog hoppers there are out there & how everyone wants something for nothing. It would be different if I weren't a legit business paying taxes & just doing it as a hobby, but I'm amazed at how many people want me to do things for "free". While I was portfolio building I learned a lot of things & that it's true that owning a photography business is 10% taking pictures & the rest is business. I LOVE my business, and I LOVE the photography aspect, but I'm not too hooked just yet on all of the business aspects. It's a lot more work then most think it is. Expensive too. I put so much time, effort, and money into this for schooling, equipment, licenses, props, memberships, & I just wish people realized there was a lot more too it than just snapping a picture. For the most part though, I'm loving it! I have been SO busy with so many shoots, it's been awesome. Awesome to start seeing the income too! My favorite though, was being apart of the elite team of professional photographers who photographed the March of Dimes Phoenix Metro Walk. It was amazing to be there for that. That was one of my goals, and I accomplished it, and it was amazing. I think it's important to have business goals, and to meet them when others doubt that you can, well it's a fabulous feeling! I'm SO behind on blogging on my photography page & need to blog about 10 shoots & the March of Dimes walk, so I'm sorry if this blog lacks. I've been so busy that it's been hard to keep up with everything without loosing sleep! I promise to be better though!

CM project- How I View… Happiness

This month’s clickin mom’s project was Happiness. There sure is a lot of that going around our house on a day to day basis, so I thought this month would be easy to decide. But, now that it’s that time again to do this blog post, I could not decide on just which pics I should choose, so this might be pic overload. I decided to pick ones I took of my sweet girls this month, because ultimately, they are what make me the happiest.

We all just got over a nasty stomach flu at our house, which landed my oldest daughter, Liberty, in the childrens hospital twice. Both times for dehydration, poor thing just couldn’t keep any fluids down. Seeing your child so sick, it makes you long for the good times. It makes you ache so badly just wanting them to feel better & makes you feel so helpless as a parent when they are so sick too. One of the nights that I spent at the hospital holding a clinging, sickly, sweet little Liberty in my arms.. it took me back to their NICU days. Those days where we thought we might loose them, and then the victorious moments when we finally got to take each of them home from the hospital. As I laid there listening to the monitors in the background, with her head on my chest, and that sweet smell of lavender in her hair, I just felt so humbled. Humbled that I’m a Mama after all the trials we went through to get our precious girls, and I’m constantly being reminded just how blessed I am. Even through hard times, I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I have learned to cherish the good, and the hard times. They grow up too fast, and I’m SO thankful I have my photos! This month, was a hard one with so much sickness, but it was filled with happy moments too.

On March 27th, one of the best moments EVER, Libby told me for the first time “Lub you mama” ♥ Hearing your child tell you they love you for the first time ever, it’s AMAZING. It was totally unprompted too, complete with a giant arms around my neck hug w/ a sticky kiss on my cheek. Can’t get any better than that! Moments like that are what I live for, & makes ALL of the hard times we spent ttc her /NICU/prematurity WORTH ALL of that. And that I have TWO girls, my heart is overflowing and complete!! So here’s a quick compilation of some of the pics I took this month that bring me happiness & overflow my heart with joy!




Now head on over to Stacey's Blog and check out her view on Happiness!

You can also check out this post & other great photography posts on my new photography website blog at Brook Parker Photography

CM Project, How I view..

This month's challenge was Love & Sweetness, and instantly my girls came to mind. The sweet love they have for each other is something words just can't describe & I just LOVE their relationship that Libby & Presley share. I love how Libby will just sit down and read to her, how they interact with each other, and all in all just how much love there is between them. I'm one blessed Mama that is for sure!




Now hop on over to Stacey's blog and check out how her view on sweetness & love. There is 12 of us in this circle, and there is amazing talent, so take a peak at all of them!


My NEW photography blog is up & I posted this post over there as well, as I'm hoping to transfer blogs soon :) Check it out HERE I'm still working out the kinks, but at least now you can take a peak!

I'm back!

I'm still here. I've missed a few thankful Thursdays, but I've been SUPER busy taking care of my 3 sweets, and running one business & starting another. I've had my business license for Brook Parker Photography for a couple months now (November it became official) but I've finally launched it into overdrive & so far, it's been amazing. I am LOVING it. Still have lots to learn, but practice makes perfect!

Hmm lets see, first missed TT was because that was the day of Presley's MRI that she had to be sedated for. Nothing could have prepared me for that awful day. Everyone said "oh she will do great" and while she was a trooper, she had a rough time with the anethesia and had some problems breathing coming out of it which landed us into the PICU for a few hours to watch her closer. The doctors & nurses kept telling me they wished all parents were as calm & collected as me. The raw truth is, that inside I was hurting, and my heart was so heavy. All I wanted to do was take my baby girl home and just hold her in my arms while Aaron held me, and just cry. Cry because life just is so not fair sometimes, and I HATE that Presley had to go through all that again. They had to give her a heavier sedation because she fought it every second, fought all of it. And I don't blame her.




It was just Presley & I at her MRI procedure & the EEG, because a few days earlier Libby had fell and bit her lip open and had to get two stitches.. and then our sweet friend that was going to watch Libby, her family all had the flu, and since we are new out here, we didn't have a backup. I took my camera with me, so that I could take pics for Aaron to see what went on & to put in Presley's baby book to show her later on in life just how tough she is. I may not be able to carry a baby to term, but man do I make tough babies. I've learned strength & how to fight from my girls. Truth be told, I hadn't even opened up the raw files from that day until now, because the emotions were still just too dang raw. Seeing/feeling Presley's tiny little body go limp, it was awful. I held her little hand and then her hand just fell, and the pain that comes from that feeling is awful. I can't describe it, but while I sat in the waiting room, a code blue was called for an infant & I panicked. Turns out they had a new announcer that day & she got the section wrong, so the code blue wasn't in imaging, but Presley was the only baby back their getting an MRI & they had brought a crash cart along when they wheeled her in to get her MRI, so I was all sorts of shaken up thinking it was her. Then she had problems and was satting at 82 & they had her on oxygen & it was just an awful experience. I just pray and pray that our little family doesn't have to ever do that again. Having left the NICU with my 2nd NICU graduate, I thought the monitors were long gone... and then they were back. SHutters. I have nightmares about monitors.


The 2nd TT post that I missed, was the monthly MOD Project Baby meeting & by the time I got home and hung out with Aaron, I was too exhausted to blog. My hands were exceptionally tingly that day I remember.. which leads me to the big elephant in the room again, still no official 100% diagnoses. Still waiting on my body to have another "episode" to make it 100% official, and I'm still trying to bank on that .1% chance that I don't have it. I've defied odds before, I mean seriously, WHO does have TWO preemies in UNDER a year. What are those odds!?! So hey, it's possible!

I've also been super busy doing a couple photo sessions every weekend, and it's been FUN! Busy, but fun. This sounds so cheesy, but I recently did a few maternity sessions, and I am 110% proud & happy to say that not one ounce of me thought of myself and not getting the chance for my own maternity pics. I thought going into it that it might sting a little, but I was ready to rip off that bandaid, and my honest feelings were, pure happiness. I was SO excited to do these shoots, and it was actually as weird as this sounds, sort of healing for me. I think that is why I love photography SO much. Because with every photo I take, the broken parts inside my heart are healing. Doing maternity shoots lately, it's been so healing for me. They don't know this, but it's true. Maybe it's because I'm able to give them something that they will cherish, and because it's something I always wanted but couldn't have, I make sure it's just that much more special for them. Super Cheesy I know, but I'm proud of myself. My heart used to get heavy and I'd feel the wounds run a little deeper when others would complain about all the little things that most take for granted in pregnancies, or all the talk about how amazing "Italy" is. Being "over it" would be an understatement, but I'm getting there, and I'm ECSTATIC about my newest development :) I wondered if I'd ever get to this point, where pure happiness for others reigns over my own hurt, and I've arrived :) Go me!

It's easy to get lost in the pain sometimes of the " would have, should have, could have beens" especially when there are so many daily reminders, but somewhere along the way, something changed for me. Instead of getting caught in the pain, I've embraced it. While my heart may never heal completely, and the pieces don't fit quite the same, my heart is SO much more full than it ever was before. Some mornings I just lay in bed with my girls and my heart just feels like it can't take any more sweetness, because life is just that good. I've been super busy with decorating our house (finally ALL unpacked!) and setting up a studio in my house too (which is a LOT of fun might I add). I'm also decorating Presley's nursery (purple, it's awesome! pics soon) and Libby has her own room too, but soon I plan on redoing her room too into a "Big girl room". Tear, Tear, Tears of sadness, because I will admit, I cried today when I realised I was looking at the TODDLER section on Carters.com to see what all they had that I could buy ahead for Libby. Libby still wears 12-18 months, but her 12 month stuff is getting small, and she is just growing into a little GIRL, she's not my little baby anymore :( SIgh, but she is SO fun, so even though it's bittersweet, I LOVE where Libby is at right now. Presley is getting to be less cranky (only crying 75% of the day now, YAY!) How I got so incredibly lucky to have two beautiful little girls and my handsome hubby, I don't know. I love where my life is headed. I'm busy with all these wonderful big plans and I'm thankful for personal growth. There is always room for that, and for that I'm thankful. I will post the pics to this post later :) THanks for keeping up with me! I'm also starting a photography blog as well, it's almost done but in the works, so bear with me!

CM Project, How I View

For the past 6 months, I have been a part of this AMAZING group, Clickin Moms. I've learned A LOT from there, and although I'm not able to post that much since I'm super busy with my girls... I check it out frequently & I am always BLOWN away with the amazing talent there. Anyway, I decided to challenge myself, and participate in their 12 for 12 "How I View" Project. I'm a part of an amazing group of 12 women, and each month we will be posting a blog post centered around a new subject. I'd highly recommend following along, and checking out their blogs/photography too, because there is AMAZING talent in this group!

January's theme, was New Beginnings. At first I was really stumped on just what I would choose. Of course I could take pictures of the girls, since I feel everything with them has new "firsts" but I'm sure I will be using them as some of my monthly subjects in the months to come, so I wanted to challenge myself. From Libby's first steps as a WALKER (yay it only took 19 months!) from Presley tripod sitting for the first time, to her first back to front roll, I thought these were all blog worthy, but I still yearned for something MORE. Then while sitting out on the porch with Libby one morning, I saw this PERFECT flower that had bloomed, and was the first one of the year. I loved how there was only 1 flower, and how it bloomed perfectly, even after the cold desert storm we had just had the night before. It brought beautiful in depth meaning to me, a flower so beautiful withstanding the cold storm. Libby & I walked around the house, and there was another first flower on it's bush as well. We also have these tiny little flowers on our bushes in front, and they have just bloomed as well. So this is my view on New Beginnings, a fresh, beautiful new start to another beautiful year.



As I was snapping away, Libby was standing there on the porch blowing me kisses, and of course we all know I can't resist taking pictures of her :) As we were walking around the house, she saw the empty garden hose holder, and started saying UP as she tried to climb onto it, she's hilarious.

Back to the project.. my favorite tiny little flowers, they have SO much detail for being so tiny. So tiny but yet so perfect & beautiful (reminds me of my perfect tiny girls).


I had a lot of fun & can't wait to see what the other members of the group have chosen for their view on New Beginnings! Check out Stacey and her amazing photos!

A little late

So I realized this morning that it was now FRIDAY (yay, thank heavens this has been the LONGEST week ever) but that also, alas I had forgotten to write my Thankful Thursday post.

Yesterday we had Presley's Neurology appt with the pediatric Neurologist to find out more about her seizures that she has been having & the dreaded possible SWS. Good news is, that while yes Presley has a ton of markings all over her head/face, she said that she didn't agree with some of the other doctors that had seen her, and DOESN'T think she has SWS. (INSERT HUGE YAYYYYY and sigh of relief) but that because she has a few on her back, and most concerning the one that wasn't there when she was born but has developed and grown anyway, she still wants her to have an MRI to check for it, and of course to make sure her seizures aren't something crazy going on. She has to have that MRI (still has to be sedated for that) & an EEG of her brain. She said that she is hoping Presley's EEG will be able to be done without being sedated, so it just depends on if she can hold still enough, if not, she will sedate her for that too. SIGH, I HATE that sedation stuff, it makes me feel sick to my stomach. She also needs her blood drawn to check for some other things.

ANYWAY, on to much funner things, PRESLEY NOW WEIGHS 14 pounds! The little fatty lol! From her well baby check up on Monday to her appt yesterday, she gained 9 ozs!! Aaron & I kept saying we thought she seemed heavier, SURE enough, she is :) She is also 24 1/2 inches long, catching up to her sister nicely who is at 29 1/2 inches long. Presley is finally starting to fill out her 3 month size clothes well, and I have officially put away all the newborn & 0-3 month clothing. I will be honest here, don't judge me, I bawled my eyes out. It's bittersweet to know I won't ever have a tiny little baby wearing them again. Both girls have worn them, and it makes me sad memories won't be made in them anymore. I LOVE that Presley is getting bigger, but time is FLYING by, and before I know it they will both be in college. And THAT is the fact that makes me get this huge lump in my throat. I just wish time could slow down.

I've never really been afraid of growing old, but over the past few wks, my world has been changed, and now the future of what lies ahead scares me a little. There's that raw pain that the fear of the unknown brings. No matter how grateful one can feel or be, that doesn't mean situations aren't hard, and it doesn't take the pain away. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? I have realized though, that while my body may have this disease, IT doesn't have ME. I'm thankful to know that. I have felt pretty defeated lately, and I was so SURE that this new year would bring wonderful and great things. I was very hopeful that it would be better than last year, because last year was HARD... and while January has made me it's bitch, I'm hoping that the next 11 months will be better. My new favorite quote is by Elizabeth Edwards. "She stood in the storm, & when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails". So while life isn't exactly how I would want it to be, I'm adjusting & even though I feel defeated a LOT lately, I'm still very grateful for the things I have.

I laid in bed this morning with my sweet little Libby who is sick, and we watched some cartoons while Presley napped in her swing. While that may not seem like the best to some, it was the best for me. Why you ask? Because Libby had her head on my shoulder all cuddled up with me & her blankey, and every so often she would look up at me & smile. Her sweet little face and her red little eyes because she was fighting naptime so hard, but the way her eyes sparkled and she would just randomly kiss my cheek... THAT is what makes my world go round. I could hear Presley being rocked by her swing, and seeing the steady rise & fall of Libby's chest as she finally fell asleep in my arms, my whole world felt complete. Sure I wish things in life could be easier, that people didn't have to get sick, and babies/kids didn't have to struggle, BUT all in all, I feel like my world is pretty darn good. I wouldn't trade my crazy life with anyone, because I love my life. I love the people in it, and that is what I'm thankful for, MY life. I'm thankful for the good times, because they are what get me through the hard times. I've had countless times in the shower where I've cried & sobbed, I've gotten good at the silent cry, but it makes me human. It makes me FEEL, and the thing about that, is that you can't possibly know how GOOD you have it, unless you have experienced the hard bad times too. And the truth is, The good FAR outweighs the bad.

Thankful Thursday

I've thought about this post for a few days, and then after the events of yesterday, my mind went blank. Blank and all I wanted to do was post about how blindsided I feel, how my heart is aching, but then I realized, blogging about that isn't going to change anything. So I didn't, I kept it in, cried my eyes out in my sweet hubby's arms while he so sweetly said "we will fight this Brook" (which made me cry more because I just feel lucky to have such a good man in my life). I woke up this morning still in denial, and really upset that life just can't be easier. I mean seriously, WHEN is enough, enough? Then a phone call came from my Dr. confirming what he said it was Yesterday, and I was just thinking, Thanks dude, don't you know it's suppose to be "thankful thursday", how the heck am I going to write a THANKFUL post after this phone call!?! It's funny how life can just throw these things out of left field and BLINDSIDE you. I laid in bed sobbing, and for a minute wishing I had a maid/nanny so that would allow me to be able to just lay in bed all day & throw myself the biggest best pity party. But then I remembered this quote, Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. ~Emory Austin. So I laid there pondering things about life, how unfair it can be, and really thinking about the good. I've always wondered what compells people to run marathon after marathon, especially when they are sick... and NOW I know. I made a vow to start running everyday, to need to at least get out and walk everyday with the girls (good thing I got a new stroller) because I don't want to later be wondering WHY I didn't do this. WHy I took it for granted. That has to be one of the main reasons people do this, because they NEED to LIVE and really LIVE their life, while they still can. I'm not ready to tell, and don't know if I will ready for a while, but I promise to eventually post about this huge elephant in the room. I'm not going to start running marathons, but I am going to get outside and RUN everyday.

Yesterday after I got home from my appt, I just needed to get out and DO something. So I jogged behind Libby as I pushed her in the stroller. I took in how clear the sky was, how the sun was setting and how it glistened perfectly on the leaves. I'm thankful for just how beautiful it was, and the crisp air to breathe in was wonderful. She LOVES our new stroller. As I'm unbuckling her after we are done, she looks up with this puppy dog sad face, and says no no no, MOE!! She says "MOE" for more, it's pretty hard to not just take her on another walk when she does that. That walk helped put things into perspective, and was good for my soul. I'm thankful to be able to go on walks with my girls, I won't ever take that for granted now.

Presley was SUPER happy before I left for my appt, and I'm just thankful for her smiley little face. Her smiles help me feel better, even when it's hard. Look at that double wrist fatty bracelet, I'm thankful for those too. Babies are suppose to be fat!


I'm thankful for my girls. Thankful to be their Mama (I know, I know, I say that every blog post & every TT post, but it's because it's true) I'm never in the pictures, so even though I don't look awesome in it & it's pretty grainy, I LOVE that it's of me & my two precious girls.

Most of all though, I'm thankful for my family. For my sweet hubby, and how supportive he is. He may tick me off and annoy me sometimes, but he means everything to me & I'm lucky to be his wife. In all the craziness that life throws, I'm just thankful every night that I have a family to be with, and who is always there for me. In times of hardship & sadness, family is always there, and I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for my Mama being there for me to cry to yesterday. I'm thankful for one of my besties, who listened to me cry while Aaron kept adding his input & making us laugh, and for dealing with my crappy phone service & all the dropped calls. I'm thankful I have loved ones to share the good times and the bad times with, because that is what life is all about.

Here's the most up to date pic of my sweet little family, my most wonderful blessings. I'm thankful for every single day I get with them, and I'm thankful to know how precious life & your health really is.

ThAnkFul ThUrSdAy.. Here's to YOU!

Last weeks raw thankful Thursday was very well received and I appreciate all the emails that were sent to me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm sharing too much, but then I get the emails saying thanks & I feel justified :) I'm thankful to have such great friends that are there for me. I'm thankful for the ones who love me for ME & look past all my faults & love me anyway. I'm thankful for true friends that have stepped up to the plate and become my family when family hasn't been there. Living far away from family can be hard, but our friends have become our second family, and Im so thankful for you all.

I'm thankful for all the friends Aaron & I have made living overseas & our military family. I love my military wifey friends, you all know who you are, and I'm so thankful to have such a big support system in all of you. I love the unity we have. A lot of us don't live at the same base anymore, but it's still like we live next door, and I love that! Aaron is putting in his paperwork to cross train from AMMO to a new job in the military, and has been researching jobs like crazy. He recently asked me what I thought about a certain base, and I replied "oh so&so live there and they love it...." this makes me smile to look back on, because we have so many friends all around the world and to me that's amazing. From friends all over the states, to all over Europe, to Asia & Guam, it's comforting to know we have friends everywhere.

I'm thankful for the military and the secure job it gives my husband. The opportunities we have had in the military have been great, and I'm thankful for the knowledge we've learned while being in the military life as well. I'm thankful to how solid it's helped Aaron & I become as a couple. We were pretty close before he joined, but then were pushed to the limits of a long distance marriage living on opposite sides and it brought us so much closer. We've watched so many friends go through divorces, and I'm thankful Aaron & I have withstood that. Weve had our own trials, but living abroad forces you to work it all out and lean on each other because that's all you have... And I'm thankful for that. We know we can move/live anywhere and be okay & make new friends and that's a wonderful knowledge to have. I've said it more than once, but I'll say it again, we love our military family!!

I'm thankful for all the friends I have made while being a Preemie Mama. I love my preemie mama friends, and a lot of them are very dear to my heart. I've loved the support most of them have given me when others seem to not understand, and I will always be grateful for that. I love watching all of their miracle kids grow up, it's amazing to me. When their kids hit developmental milestones, I'm just as proud of them as my own, because I know how hard those miracle babies worked, they amaze me. Facebook can be hard to get on somedays & I'm constantly wanting to bite someone's head off for being so ignorant about pregnancy & wanting their baby to be born long before term/or before the goal of the amazing 39wks.... But my preemie mama friends understand & my newsfeed is now flooded with all the accomplishments these preemies are making, and THATs wonderful to read everyday. I'm loving all the recent term after preemie births, they bring such happiness and smiles to my face and I'm soo thankful for that. It's such a victory for us preemie moms, and even though I didn't get that victory, seeing them get it makes me soo happy. A big fist pump in the air against prematurity & I love that!

I'm thankful for my readers, for the ones I know & the ones I don't. Having a blog to clear my head is great, and I appreciate the support you all give me!

Most of all though, I'm so thankful that I am happier than I can ever remember being. Despite the chaos and imperfections, I truly love my life and am so extremely thankful for everyone in it.